Sugar Daddy Meet! I’ve gotten some flack over the years for my visits to high-class escorts and back-alley crackwhore BJs. I’ve had people tell me it’s better to hook-up with local fatties on Tinder, or use some expensive computer-dating service that will match me with somebody based on a 4-hour fucking test I have to take first. Fuck that tripe. What if I just want a hot chick to love me for my money? Well, SugarDaddyMeet attempts to answer that question.
Since 2007, SugarDaddyMeet.com has been helping monied motherfuckers meet the babes of their dreams. If you’re looking for a sugar baby, this is your type of dating site. (And if you’re a good-looking broad who likes money, you should probably sign up, too.) They only serve the top 20 richest countries, so apologies in advance to that wealthy Nigerian prince who keeps emailing me. They’ve got a mobile app available, though it still lacks certain features of the website, so I’ll be doing this review on the web version.
I’m curious how often you need to visit the site to be considered an “active” member. They’re claiming 3.4 million of them out front, but the website gets under a million visits a month. That’s a pretty significant difference, but it’s still a big enough number that I’m hopeful the pickings are good. They say, “Thousands of Real Members Join Daily!” If that’s true, most of their daily visits are new sign-ups.
The blurb at the bottom says SugarDaddyMeet.com is “The world’s most frequented site for younger women Seeking Secret Mutual Benefits.” That’s good news for me, because that’s exactly what I’m looking for. Like most dating sites, they don’t let you browse the menu until you get inside, so I started with the basic questionnaire out front.
They’re serious about being serious. You can’t even sign up for SugarDaddyMeet.com without giving them your phone number for verification. I fucking hate doing that, because I get enough spam calls as it is, but it does make it more difficult for scammers to set up fake profiles. It’s good to see that kind of measure. They don’t let just anybody in.
After having to give up my phone number, I was pretty surprised to find out photos are optional. They tell you profiles with photos get 20 times more views, which should be obvious as hell. Maybe it matters less if I’m looking for a woman who gets turned on when I pull out a black metal credit card, but I hope the sugar babies are held to a higher standard. I uploaded a selfie I took before a funeral, because honestly, I don’t wear a suit very often here in the porn-testing lab.
After a couple of essay questions about who I am and what I’m looking for, SugarDaddyMeet sent me another verification code, this time to my email box. That got me in, but my photo still says Pending Approval. Again, those extra steps suck, but they’re good to see because they’re like barbed wire to scammers.
The Quick Search lets you enter your location and preferred age range for some instant picks. Instantly, I had a rich selection of sexy young Latinas, gorgeous Ebony princesses, and a whole bunch of eager white girls. It’s a lot more than I expected, which is a damn good thing.
In the US, the Quick Search only lets you narrow it down to specific states. This brought up 500 potential sugar babies when I tried, which means Sugar Daddy Meet really does have a ton of legit sugar babies. Fortunately, a menu on the sidebar opens up a ZIP/Distance option, so I didn’t have to sort through each of those 500 chicks.
Or so I thought. It turns out that’s a locked option for premium users. In fact, most of the advanced search options in the sidebar have padlock icons beside them. I can’t search by specific location, annual income, or even see which Sugar Babies have been verified.
One of the features they hype out on the SugarDaddyMeet tour page is the first date gift. You can click a button to offer a girl a gift you’ll bring her on the first date. A text box pops up, asking you to describe it for her, but a classy gentleman will have already figured out what she wants because he read her profile. You can include a photo, and there’s even a checkbox to display the first date gift on your profile. Even if you strike out this time, the other chicks will know you’re a baller.
I found a gorgeous mixed 23-year-old with an adorable face, killer body, and some slutty outfits to show it off in. I figured if I offered her an official, autographed Porn Dude dildo, modeled after my own dong, there’s no way she could say no. It’s a limited edition of one, since I ran out of silicone after I molded the first one. (What I’m saying is that I have a superhumanly huge dick.)
It’s free for her to respond, but unfortunately, I can’t even send the message unless I upgrade to a premium account. All those locked features I saw come at a cost of $50 a month, though the discounts on longer memberships are pretty deep.
Goddamn. That is a steeper price than most dating sites. It makes sense, though. All those girls are going to know you have at least $50, even if you lied to all the other questions. This ain’t like signing up for a $30 porn site, either. If SugarDaddyMeet.com works out for you, you can conceivably find somebody you’ll spend your entire life with. Hell, even if you just get a few dates and a lay or two, it’s probably worth the fifty bones.
SugarDaddyMeet.com obviously ain’t a dating site for everybody. Most of you cheapskates will probably want to go back to Tinder, but for those of you with more refined tastes and cash to burn, Sugar Daddy Meet helps you cut out the bullshitting and get right down to business. You can sign up and browse the listings before deciding to pull the trigger on a premium membership, so I recommend checking out the local sugar babies before taking the plunge.
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